Couples Therapy Options
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Couples Therapy

Here are the details of what I offer in terms of format and why I do things the way that I do. If you do decide to work with me, then it is my job to get your relationship to a healthier state as fast as possible. Let me assure you, I take this responsibility very seriously and, in case it’s of interest to you, I’ve focused exclusively on making relationships better for over 20 years. As with pretty much anything else in life, the more you apply your focus, the better it becomes. The relationship intensives gives you the opportunity to thoroughly focus on reconnecting your relationship and achieving successful results.

I consider myself to work with an intensive, momentum-based focus that achieves results. Because I use a combination of science-based coaching and therapy, we can apply accelerated learning techniques that will help you to get better, faster. When it comes to learning, spaced repetition is an essential component. Fortnightly sessions are the perfect spacing for memory retention and momentum, so this is all that I offer now.

Personally, I find it shocking that most therapists aren’t willing to talk about results. If you haven’t already watched it, I would encourage you to listen to Terry Real talking about the difference between an effective couple’s therapist and the rest. You can find that video right here. We really do know the difference between what works and what doesn’t. Terry has 40 years of experience as one of the best relationship therapists worldwide and uses a science backed approach. He’s so good that Bruce Springsteen actually wrote the foreword for his latest book. Impressive, right?

The Gottmans talk about this as the clear separation between what the Masters and the Disasters do. They’ve done the most incredible longitudinal study spanning over roughly 40 years with 3,000 couples, so it’s safe to say that they know what they are talking about. I work with serious couples who have serious problems and who are serious about trying to figure out a way to stay together. I’m assuming you are currently on the Disaster track – would you like to make it on to the Master track?

If you would like to know more about why I work the way that I do, please look at my FAQ’s page. I’m a little more candid there and everything you will read is true. Marriage counselling is a serious investment of time, money and, most importantly, hope. You don’t get too many shots at getting it right.

For maximum effect, your work with me will be very structured and purposeful. Please take a read through your options below.

HOW TO BOOK

If you are booking a one or two day intensive it is essential that you speak with my assistant. All other options you can book online. If you need to speak with my assistant about your appointment you can always hit the more info button.

Cancellation Policy

Please give me a minimum of 48 hours notice in order to avoid incurring the full fee. Your deposit is non-refundable.

Payment Policy

When you book an appointment you will pay a deposit equal to a one hour consultation to secure your booking. The balance is due at your appointment, where you can pay by EFTPOS credit or debit card. Fees are inclusive of taxes.

Two Day intensive

This two-day intensive is for couples who live too far away to attend ongoing sessions with me in Sydney or who are in desperate trouble. This intensive not only allows for a deeper understanding of the dynamic you’re locked into, but also further understanding of the work that must happen in order to break out of the years of anger and resentment. If you are willing, this intensive holds the capability to dramatically transform the both of you. Two days allows us the luxury of locking in your new skill set before you go home. Two days also allows the opportunity to build your confidence to implement this skill set knowing that you are putting your best foot forward.

If you’re looking for an urgent fix to a serious problem and you don’t live locally, this is your best option. It is important for us to have a conversation before booking this intensive, so please get in touch so we can arrange a suitable time to talk.

One Day intensive

This one-day intensive is the starting point for couples who want or need change urgently. I’m talking about couples who are on the brink of disaster. This is an essential intervention if you’re recovering from an affair or if one of you has announced that you are leaving the relationship because it’s become intolerable. This is a far more intelligent way of getting back on track than starting out with the two-hour assessment if your relationship is on the brink. You do not want to open Pandora’s box without time to do some repair work. It allows for a thorough assessment and understanding of the dynamic you’re locked into. From there, we can begin the work that must happen in order to break out of the pain you are in. We will move your relationship skills from the Disaster track to the Master track in the shortest possible time. If your situation is urgent, this is your best option. If you’ve already completed a day with me, you don’t need to do the Assessment Intensive before starting the Follow Up Couples Therapy. You will need to speak with my assistant before booking this as these days are hidden in the diary, so please get in touch when you can.

The Assessment Intensive

This session is a full two hours in duration and gives you the option of getting to know me before making a larger commitment. I understand your caution and appreciate that it is only natural. Remember, you are always welcome to just leap into a longer intensive with me.

Think of me as a specialist rather than a GP. I’m not handing out antibiotics without knowing exactly what the problem is. With me, you can always rely on a thorough assessment. It is my firm belief (and experience) that a ‘therapeutic hour’ (which is actually fifty minutes) is a great way to start a fight for most couples. Not only that, but you are also then robbed of any time to resolve the conflict. The two hours that are offered within the Assessment Intensive allow me the time to systematically assess exactly what is going so horribly wrong for you both. Then, we can begin the work around how to best treat it. Be assured that if you are in crisis, we will also have time to put in place any emergency measures you may need to stop any further deterioration.

Follow Up Couples Therapy

This is a full two hours where we do the specific work for addressing where you still struggle. In order to do this, you must have had the assessment intensive. Over time you will both become quicker to identify and stop your contributions to the faulty relationship dynamic. Your experience of your relationship will be transformed. Let’s call what you do at the moment ‘Door A’ which is path to misery. It’s my job to show you ‘Door B’ and keep you heading through it despite any initial protests or resistance from you or your partner. Many couples schedule several of these within a short period of time to enable a sense of progress and continued momentum. This mode of marriage counselling allows time to integrate and reinforce everything you’re learning.

Coaching for Individuals

When it comes to dismantling a dynamic sometimes working with an individual can lead to big breakthroughs. There’s a quote I like ‘If I change me, I change we.’ Sometimes it can be just too hard to get your partner to attend. There are times when it’s my job to teach someone how to stand up and get heard by a particularly resistant partner. Other times it becomes clear it’s an individual issue around boundaries and self-esteem that needs working with.

Location: Sydney’s Upper North Shore

My relationship counselling office is in St Ives, Sydney’s Upper North Shore. Personally I don’t think there’s a nicer place to get the support you’re looking for. I really do want to make this as painless as possible. If you’d like to know more then please get in touch.